so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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