I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
