my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
