i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you would pick up someone in the library
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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