Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
