i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So here I am, sexting at work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
