whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
