Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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