i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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