Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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