So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
