the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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