Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
no, he came in my armpit
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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