I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your cock deserves a montage
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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