Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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