Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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