But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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