i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
