im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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