Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize