Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
