He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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