just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
sex in a hospital.. check
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
