He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
