Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
