Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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