I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
