And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
