We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the day after is always just damage control
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
