guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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