If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
