We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
