NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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