it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize