Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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