I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
