Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
