I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
