I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
