I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize