my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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