well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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