Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
