I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
