its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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