I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
