The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
