I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
