I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
