Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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