I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My vagina is officially offended.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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