My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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