I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just gargled with NyQuil
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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