Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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