You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
