Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
