i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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